YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY IRKS ME ABOUT AUSTRALIANS
THEY CALL MCDONALDS “MACCAS”
you drongos dont understand ok. we go to the servo for fuel, we go to maccas for burgers and we go to the bottle-o for grog.
Wait, what the hell is grog?
I’m sure there’s a Keyser Soze/King Caeser joke somewhere…
The Righteous Repentant Papal Rangers, one of the Catholic Church’s less successful attempts at bringing religion to a modern audience.
I never asked for this.
I want to believe that right now, somewhere in Siberia, there’s an old Russian grandpa sitting in a stuffed armchair in front of the fire with the captured metal head of Hitler mounted above the fireplace.
So, new Godzilla movie soon.
Napoleon verses the Bunnies
After signing the Treaty of Tilsit in 1807 Napoleon decided to celebrate by hosting a rabbit hunt, entrusting the arrangements to his chief of staff Alexander Berthier. Berthier gathered several hundred rabbits for the hunt, and invited some of the most important men in the French Empire. In addition to the various VIP’s present at the hunt, there were also a number of gun bearers, beaters (a person who flushes game by beating the brush with a stick), and game keepers. The plan was that when the gamekeeper released the rabbits they would scatter in all directions, running for their lives as the hunters shot the rabbits at will. There was one hitch, Berthier had not gathered wild rabbits but purchased tame domesticated bunnies. When the bunnies were released, rather than running for their lives they all dashed at the hunting party, believing they were about to be fed by the man wearing the big hat. Napoleon formed a skirmish line but the horde of bunnies swarmed the party, tugging at their pants and climbing up their legs. Sensing defeat as a bunny climbed up his jacket Napoleon called retreat and made for the safety of his coach. Napoleon had to eject several bunnies from the coach while making his escape.
Hilarious, ludicrous and true.
The event was mentioned by Napoleonic historian David G. Chandler in one of his books: “with a finer understanding of Napoleonic strategy than most of his generals, the rabbit horde divided into two wings and poured around the flanks of the party…” Nobody’s said it yet, but was he dealing with Napoleon Bunnyparte?
A typical game of Call of Duty:
- Lasts around fifteen minutes.
- Requires little effort.
- Can be enjoyed with friends, family, and strangers over the internet.
- May cause you to accuse said people of hax and/or being noobs.
A typical game of Hearts of Iron:
- Lasts at least fifteen consecutive days (allowing for brief naps while researching).
- Requires intense foresight and planning, coupled with physical endurance, to last the game without dying, or worse, losing.
- Will alienate you from friends, family, and everything you once held dear. Strangers over the internet who share your pain will be your only contact with the outside world.
- May cause you to develop megalomania and/or a penchant to dress like a WWII general.
A typical game of Diplomacy:
- Lasts long enough.
- Requires Machiavellian thought and a willingness to sacrifice.
- Will cause friends, family, and strangers over the internet to never trust you again. Ever.
- May cause said people to actively attempt to kill you.