I want to believe that right now, somewhere in Siberia, there’s an old Russian grandpa sitting in a stuffed armchair in front of the fire with the captured metal head of Hitler mounted above the fireplace.
So, new Godzilla movie soon.
Napoleon verses the Bunnies
After signing the Treaty of Tilsit in 1807 Napoleon decided to celebrate by hosting a rabbit hunt, entrusting the arrangements to his chief of staff Alexander Berthier. Berthier gathered several hundred rabbits for the hunt, and invited some of the most important men in the French Empire. In addition to the various VIP’s present at the hunt, there were also a number of gun bearers, beaters (a person who flushes game by beating the brush with a stick), and game keepers. The plan was that when the gamekeeper released the rabbits they would scatter in all directions, running for their lives as the hunters shot the rabbits at will. There was one hitch, Berthier had not gathered wild rabbits but purchased tame domesticated bunnies. When the bunnies were released, rather than running for their lives they all dashed at the hunting party, believing they were about to be fed by the man wearing the big hat. Napoleon formed a skirmish line but the horde of bunnies swarmed the party, tugging at their pants and climbing up their legs. Sensing defeat as a bunny climbed up his jacket Napoleon called retreat and made for the safety of his coach. Napoleon had to eject several bunnies from the coach while making his escape.
Hilarious, ludicrous and true.
The event was mentioned by Napoleonic historian David G. Chandler in one of his books: “with a finer understanding of Napoleonic strategy than most of his generals, the rabbit horde divided into two wings and poured around the flanks of the party…” Nobody’s said it yet, but was he dealing with Napoleon Bunnyparte?
A typical game of Call of Duty:
- Lasts around fifteen minutes.
- Requires little effort.
- Can be enjoyed with friends, family, and strangers over the internet.
- May cause you to accuse said people of hax and/or being noobs.
A typical game of Hearts of Iron:
- Lasts at least fifteen consecutive days (allowing for brief naps while researching).
- Requires intense foresight and planning, coupled with physical endurance, to last the game without dying, or worse, losing.
- Will alienate you from friends, family, and everything you once held dear. Strangers over the internet who share your pain will be your only contact with the outside world.
- May cause you to develop megalomania and/or a penchant to dress like a WWII general.
A typical game of Diplomacy:
- Lasts long enough.
- Requires Machiavellian thought and a willingness to sacrifice.
- Will cause friends, family, and strangers over the internet to never trust you again. Ever.
- May cause said people to actively attempt to kill you.
Let’s Play Ancient Greek Punishment: free retro games by Pippin Barr.
These are so tasteless and so brilliant.
Also, handy reference guide for Greek mythology students: never get Tantalus and Sisyphus mixed up again!
(Zeno isn’t a mythological figure, he’s just the guy who discovered the underlying principle of dissertation writing.)
OMG, these games make flappybird seem like you are actually accomplishing something.
Terry Pratchett: 1
So I decided to return to my hometown, apparently relocated to the Sun thank-you summer, on Friday and got back to civilisation today, only to find 812 notes on my tumblr. To put that into perspective, that’s easily four times what it was 48 hours ago.
I have no idea what happened.
And no, I didn’t hire the mafia, although I also have a failing pretzel wagon business.
The beginning and the end (almost).
What can men do against such reckless droning?